Playground Etiquette - How parents can navigate playground conflicts & concerns

The neighbourhood playground, a great place for children to mix and make friends, but for parents, it can be a high-stakes, high-stress environment. You're there looking after your own kids, but what about other people's children? Should you ever step in? What is the etiquette?

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  The neighbourhood playground, a great place for children to mix and make friends, but for parents, it can be a high-stakes, high-stress environment. You're there looking after your own kids, but what about other people's children? Should you ever step in? What is the etiquette? Parenting expert Bailey Bosch is here to guide us through. 

  Good to see you again, Bailey. 

  Thank you. 

  Playgrounds can be busy places. What should parents do if they see another child in distress? Is it wrong to jump in? 

  I think it depends what's happening. If it's danger, I think it's basic humanity. You have to step in if you're the responsible adult or you're the only one around who can see danger happening or an incident has just happened. Yeah, absolutely, you have to step in. 

  I think every parent can relate to this. Also, what about discipline? Speaking to badly behaved children who aren't yours? 

  Oh, look, until there's a definition of "badly behaved" that everybody agrees to, I think we need to put it through a couple of filters. Are they causing damage to property? Are they hurting somebody else, or is their behaviour having a consequence on other kids? In that case, yes, it might be a conversation you want to have, but you can do it in a certain way. You can do it in a way that's not... you don't come across as that mean ogre of a parent. It could be, you know, "Guys, it looks like we've got a problem here. You know, what's going on?" Uh, but really, you know, your version of bad behaviour might just be rough and tumble in another family, so I'd be a bit cautious about that.

  What if someone speaks to your child in a way that you don't like? Should you confront that adult? 

  Now, I think also a playground is a great learning place for life, so bearing in mind we're always role modelling to our kids, this would be a great opportunity to show your child how to deal with conflict. So, you would certainly go in with a more, controlled, calm, and relaxed way. Same kind of conversation: "There seems to be a problem here. You know, can you tell me what's going on? How can we solve this together?" More collaborative than combative, and just realising that it's not just at home that you're parenting your kids. You're out and about. It's a great opportunity to show them how to deal with the wider public. 

  Is it an opportunity perhaps to teach your own children about how to share things as well, while at the same time speaking at a loud enough voice that others hear? 

  Yeah, and we, we teach kids about shared environments. How they act in a classroom is very different to how they act at home in their bedroom, so it's no different in a playground. We talk about shared spaces, community spaces, and the expectations of us, of other people, of other adults as well, are very different in those environments. 

  Is there a way to try and avoid instances like these altogether? I mean, what conversations can you have with your kids before heading to public places? 

  Well, I think it's the same kind of idea: what do you expect of them, and then what would you advise them to do if another parent tells them off? Would you like them to come and tell you straight away? Would you like them to deal with it themselves? Let's empower our kids too to deal with the problems on their own. 

  Of course, the conversation would be very different than if you're taking a child to a store, because they're going to an outdoor playground where they know they're going to be able to release a bit of energy and enthusiasm. 

  Yeah, absolutely. There's places that are not playgrounds. You know, you'll see in a restaurant it'll say, "We're family friendly, but this is not a playground," so a playground is a very different place, and that's what adults should understand as well. What happens in a playground could be quite a normal behaviour. That's why I say we need to be careful what's considered bad behaviour. In a restaurant would be very different to what's completely acceptable, natural, normal in a playground setting

  A place that still requires diplomacy. Thank you for your time, Bailey. 

  Thank you.